To prep for the discussion “the Best of Both Worlds” (June 4- Café Etienne Marcel), Elizabeth Bard, the author of Lunch in Paris, and I listed some of the terrific pleasures of living in France—the food (of course), the constant vacations, the walking, the wonderful infrastructure for young mothers and more!
Today I promised unmentionables (no, not the doggied sidewalks! We’re bigger than that!) But as I reviewed our gripes, I hesitated: Elizabeth manages to couch her critiques with witty charm while I worry gloomily about pollution, slavery and tardy repairmen. Optimist or pessimist, we’d both love a few more “Oui!s” instead of “Non!s”. Here we go…
Elizabeth's reasons to beat someone over the head with a baguette:
Five people, five explanations, no answer: This is one that makes my head wobble. It’s very hard to get a definitive answer to anything – opening hours, tax law… round and round you go, picking up tidbits of information here and there, piecing together a patchwork of knowledge. I’m sure there is a right way to do things, but no one seems to know what it is…
No one ever asks what you do for a living: I’m lucky enough to love my work – so it’s a shame that it’s the last thing a French person will ask you about in a conversation. The old American “So, what do you do?” line is a non-starter here. Professional lives often take a backseat to other things.
The first answer is always “Non”: I come from the land of Yes, so imagine my surprise when I arrived in France and the first thing I heard was “Non, c’est impossible” – you ABSOLUTELY CAN’T keep your maiden name on your bank account, have your sweaters folded rather than hung, or get a last minute train ticket! After almost a decade in France, I now understand that “Non” is merely the beginning of a negotiation; once you explain that your grandmother is ill and you’re going to burn your chocolate cake if you don’t get home in time to take it out of the oven in time and surely the woman behind the counter has a sick grandmother too, n’est-ce pas?, you’ll get your train ticket, and a smile as well…
Laurel’s gloomy little complaints…
Negativity. More energy gets swallowed up in constructing explanations why change is impossible than simply analyzing and fixing a problem. This is most true for the education system, which cries out for reform which cannot happen, no matter how obvious the need.
The fact that the terrific fruits and vegetables we relish are poisoned with pesticides. While France is not the only country where industrial lobbies control regulatory agencies, that food and water are allowed to be contaminated, year after year, is a scandal of the highest order.
Sometimes, I must admit, the way history is taught to children is too much for me. Slavery, colonialism, racism, imperialism, and ghettos tend to be presented as strictly American inventions which miraculously spared France. World War II was a profit making venture. Vietnam was never Indochina. My children, caught between competing versions of history—French, American and (thanks to my husband) Russian, learned early to distrust schoolbooks and check facts. Though I suppose that’s good, really.
There is a charming expression which sums up a certain attitude which has caused me much grief: “Only suckers take promises seriously." This seems to be the motto of builders, tradesmen, repairmen and installers. On the bright side, how many expat books owe their very existence to this attitude?
All this is part of the WHSmith reading series around the launch of Sex in the City 2 –come continue the discussion with us over a drink! 4 June 5-7 pm Café Etienne Marcel, 32 rue Etienne Marcel 75002
